The Bureaucro-meter

Lost in the corporate wasteland? Stuck in the existential hell that is life in a big organization? Check the level of your despair with this handy test!

Answer on a scale of one to five. One means the statement doesn’t apply to you, five means you’re its walking definition.

1. At my company, business meetings between more than three people are often ‘facilitated.’
    1    2    3    4    5

2. Many decisions related to directly to my work are made at least two authority levels above me.
    1    2    3    4    5

3. Most informal conversations at my workplace center on the stupidity and incompetence of senior management.
    1    2    3    4    5

4. My department has adversarial relationships with other departments.
    1    2    3    4    5

5. I don’t respect my supervisor.
    1    2    3    4    5

6. I spend more than 50 hours a week at work.
    1    2    3    4    5

7. Most of my time is spent dealing with internal politics and responding to onerous requests from executives.
    1    2    3    4    5

8. I have more colds than anyone else I know.
    1    2    3    4    5

9. When I point out a problem and recommend a solution, no one listens and nothing gets done.
    1    2    3    4    5

10. I’m so tired I don’t have the energy to look for another job.
    1    2    3    4    5

Add up your total score. If you score between 10 and 20: You’re very lucky or seriously deluded. Between 21 and 30: Welcome to the working week. Between 31 and 40: There’s still hope, but you can’t go on living this way. Between 41 and 50: Consider resigning immediately or getting counseling.

I developed the preceding questionnaire 10 years ago, when it appeared in the Ragan Report. Have things changed much since then? And are there any new questions that should be added?

Comments

[Jill]

Ok - so what? Why wouldn't you try to gather what people are scoring on this thing?

[Ron Shewchuk]

It was never intended to be a real survey, but rather a bit of satirical black humour -- a look at the Kafkaesque world of life in a large corporation through the lens of a mock questionnaire. I think it's so dark and negative that it wouldn't fly as a serious survey, although anything goes on the Web these days, doesn't it?

Can anyone recommend a free online survey site where I could post this? It might be fun.

[Laura]

Thanks Ron, this was a bit of fun to break up my day of training at my new job (started on Monday). I filled this out based on work situations at my last job since I know nothing about the new one yet! Scored 23. Not bad.

Sorry I can't recommend a survey site, I don't know of any and short on time to look one up right now.

[Pablo]

Too perfect! Additional question suggestion: Are you often called in to give a communications recommendation/solve a communications problem well after the project has been implemented and the easily predictable (by you any way) "problem" is well underway?

And this (in tandem with the lack of respect for your superior): Does your boss serve as your advocate with his/her peers?

As you can see, this diddy of a quiz certainly hit home with me.

Cheers.

[Ron Shewchuk]

Laura: yes, not bad at all.

Pablo: glad the survey resonates with you. And, you're right -- we should make up some questions specifically designed for communicators. A kind of despair index/career planning tool.

To your excellent horse-out-of-the barrn survey item I would add:

* Stories you submit for approval go through so many changes and revisions that they are meaningless when they are finally published.

* Your warnings to management about emerging internal issues go unheeded.

* Negative employee survey results at your company are not communicated or followed up in any way.

* You don't have anyone on the senior executive team who defends your function or brings forward your observations or your advice.

And so on.

Now I know why I didn't do one of these for communicators -- It cuts too close to the bone!

I think I've just retired this idea. I'm too much of an optimist to follow through on it.

I need a drink. (kidding!)