Today it's 25 years since my smart, funny, beautiful wife Kate and I were married. I can hardly believe that many years have gone by since we tied the knot. We have a great partnership and it's a big milestone that's worth a nice celebration (we're planning a trip to Jamaica in November).
I was thinking this morning whether there are any lessons from our marriage that might apply to employee communications. I know this is a really wonkish thing to think about on a day like this, but I'm an employee communications wonk, so what can you do?
Looking back, I think there are a few things that have helped with the longevity of our marriage. One of them is to have a short memory for the bad times and a long memory for the good. Like all couples, we've had huge fights over the years; fortunately, neither of us can remember what they were about. But we do remember the great times we've had together.
Another is our respect for each other's need for a healthy amount of independence. We have some great mutual friends, but we each have our own friends and interests (I've taken this to the extreme with my barbecue adventures, and Kate has been patient with me even though her eyes are sore from all the rolling). We like being together, but we don't need to be together every minute of every day.
Another factor is that each of us has enough invested enough in the other that we can put up with some B.S. There's a deep well of trust and respect to draw on that makes it easier to forgive each other for our various foibles and irritating habits (which brings me to another lesson -- you might be able to influence someone's behavior, but you can't change their character, so don't try).
The lessons for communicators are pretty basic: in all we do, we should respect people's differences; and we need to invest time and energy in relationships if we want them to be successful.
And, finally, we should always look for excuses to celebrate our life's accomplishments, as I am doing right now. Woo hoo!
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